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humourous poems (Remove filter)

Love on the Allotment

Their love on the allotment bloomed in early Spring

This was a lasting passion, no fleeting seasonal fling

The seeds of it were scattered in an afternoon of planting

Which concluded in Myfanwy’s shed with groans and furtive panting

 

While Carwyn sowed his sunflower seeds she tended to his plums

They shared a packet of McVities best, nibbling on the crumbs

When Spring turned i...

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humourhumourous poemsgardeningallotments poemlove poems

What is the point of a Poinsettia?

They rarely stay red for long

Holly in a pot would be better

And makes a superior Christmas song

but every year they appear in their glory

Doomed to an early demise

Every year a familiar story

Gone faster than a plate of mince pies

They come from the central American plain

Where it’s hot and it’s dusty and dry

Where you hardly ever get caught in the rain

And snow does...

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Christmas Poemshumourous poemshumorous verse

Potter Heigham Bridge

Albert got his big truck stuck

on top of the hump-back bridge.

The cop-on-a-bike come by

and he give him a ticket.

The old man who leans on the wall

and smukes his pipe all day

said what wus wrong

well the truck ‘us too long

and the bridge ‘us too steep.

 

Potter Heigham Bridge had a hump;

‘at was as humped as a cow’s rump

and though there wus a sign

‘at wus...

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funny poemsenglish countrysidehumourous poems

What's a Mystery?

Why do key holes have no keys

Why do fairies have no tales

Can I dial the numbers please

Which is best, boys or girls

What’s a mystery?

 

If I had another Mum

Would I be another child

If I had another Dad

Where would my old daddy be

What’s a mystery?

 

Where do grown ups put the child

That they say that they used to be

Where did my Mummy find my Dad

In ...

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Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #33 {Ignoramus You}

{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #33} {Ignoramus You} 

 

 

 

Why are you

such a ignoramus

person in this life? 

Because you seem

to be a smart

person in general 

but now I am

wondering about

that `n` I don't

deal with 

ignoramus people

either you want to

chat or just keep

on ignoring me like

you have been doing

`n` it's strange how

you ...

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